THE STORY: The Bitchkicks open the show with AVE KARATE, a spoken word prologue detailing our protagonist's humble beginnings in the Brick City aka Newark, NJ. The action starts when Daniel-San and his mother, Lucille, pack their belongings and travel cross-country, dreaming of beginning a new in Reseda, CA (MOVIN' TO RESEDA). Upon his arrival in Cali, Daniel-San encounters Freddie Fernandez, an eager new friend, who shows Daniel-San around the apartment complex and introduces him to some unusual neighbors (THEY CALL ME FREDDIE). Realizing their kitchen sink is broken, Mrs. Larusso sends Daniel-San to find the maintenance man. Daniel-San discovers Miyagi in his workshop performing a fly-catching meditation. Despite Miyagi's disinterest in the conversation, Daniel-San seizes the opportunity to confide in the mysterious old man (DANIEL-SAN'S LAMENT).
That evening, the entire cast attends a beach party. Daniel-San meets Ali Mills, a rich girl from Beverly Hills who's detrimentally attracted to "non-threatening" boys ('A' MY NAME IS ALI). Suddenly, Johnny Lawrence and the Bitchkicks, an evil teen karate gang, interrupt the party. An argument between Johnny and Ali turns into a fistfight when Daniel-San attempts to intervene. As Johnny beats Daniel-San mercilessly, the Bitchkicks take a moment to remind everyone how deadly they are (WE ARE THE BITCHKICKS). Thoroughly beaten and abandoned by the remaining partygoers, Daniel-San sings a solemn ode to dejection (DAMN YOU, DANIEL-SAN) only to be interrupted mid-song by the still-bloodthirsty Bitchkicks, who beat him again.
The next morning, Daniel-San readies for his first day of school in California. After arguing with his mother about the beach party beatdown and his general disdain for CA, Daniel-San runs away from home. Having overheard the confrontation, Miyagi promises Mrs. Larusso that he will help Daniel-San the only way he knows how (MIYAGIíS COMPASSION).
Hot on the trail of her "man," Ali discovers Daniel-San hiding out in disguise at the local make-out spot and tries to take advantage of his weakened condition. Johnny and the Bitchkicks ambush Daniel-San and Ali. As they beat Daniel-San for the third time, Johnny explains why (and where) Daniel-San makes his blood boil. Fortunately, Miyagi arrives in time to save the day with a kick and a chop (IíM ONLY HAPPY WHEN IíM BAD!).
Taking pity on the boy, Miyagi helps Daniel-San confront his bullies and their evil mentor. At the Evil Dojo, they witness one of Evil Senseiís training sessions (THE WAY OF THE FISTING). Though Miyagi is able to bargain for Daniel-San's immediate safety, he also volunteers the lad for a deadly showdown at the All-Valley Under-18 Anything-Goes Karate Championship!
The next day, Miyagi gives Daniel-San his first karate lesson (WAX ON! WAX OFF!) as well as several important lifestyle and fashion tips. Left alone to train, Daniel-San is railroaded by Ali to take a break from his karate lessons and spend some leisure time at the Golf-N-Stuff (THE DATE-N-STUFF). As Ali attempts to "seal the deal" with her amour, Johnny and the Bitchkicks surround the pair and mock them. The malicious teens are distracted from their verbal sparring when Mrs. Larusso wanders through and schools the kids about the ins and outs of her gutter-fabulous lifestyle (UNSAVORY THINGS).
The following day at Miyagi's house, Daniel-San receives his final, and most thematically relevant, lesson from Miyagi (THE WAY OF THE BUSS). Having completed Daniel-Sanís karate training, Miyagi, Daniel-San, & Ali celebrate the occasion with OE 40s and some hella-fat blunts. With unusual candor, a wickedly baked Miyagi reveals a shocking secret from his own past (MIYAGIíS LAMENT).
The show climaxes (literally) with the karate showdown to end all karate-themed showdowns. After defeating his rivals and winning the All-Valley Under-18 Anything-Goes Karate Championship, Daniel-San is crowned "The Kid" by his adoring cast (YOUíRE THE KARATE KID!).